Erika Kirk opens up about ‘gut-wrenching’ grief after her husband’s killing and how faith sustained her

Erika Kirk is opening up about choosing faith to carry her grief and sharing the emotional Sabbath ritual her husband Charlie created for her each week.

“He used to write me a letter every single Saturday, during the Sabbath,” Kirk said Tuesday on Fox News Radio’s “Brian Kilmeade Show.”

“So this book now is my love letter for the rest of my life,” added Kirk, who was discussing “Stop, in the Name of God: Why Honoring the Sabbath Will Transform Your Life,” the final book her husband ever wrote.

Kirk described the book’s publication as a “bittersweet” moment, knowing these are her husband’s final public words, and said the process has forced her to confront her own grief while leaning on her faith.

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Charlie Kirk was shot and killed on the campus of Utah Valley University on Sept. 10. He left behind Erika and their two young children.

Erika Kirk called watching videos of her husband with their children “gut-wrenching” but noted that in dark moments there’s a choice to make.

“Life is tough,” she said.

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“It is beautiful, but it is tough. And you are [going to] have to find a way. And anyone who has been through hell and back knows this.”

Kirk acknowledged the lowest points of her grief, but said those dark moments forced her to make a conscious decision to lean on her Christian faith.

“Are you [going to] go into the corner and be in the fetal position and just let it happen and cry and cry and cry? Yes, there are moments to cry, yes,” she said.

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“But are you going to turn that moment into something and say, you know what? ‘God, give me grace. Please give me grace. I don’t know what I’m [going to] do. I don’t know how I’m [going to] do it, but I know that you will put one foot in front of the other, and you will help me get through this, Lord.'”

Kirk said her decision to lean on faith carried her into some of the most difficult moments following her husband’s death, including speaking at his memorial.

The memorial was attended by tens of thousands at a stadium in Arizona. Ahead of her remarks, Kirk described listening to worship music and praying before her speech at the event.

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She explained the “overwhelming” support she felt once she stepped onstage.

“When you hear [a stadium] singing hallelujah, that is a slice of heaven on earth that I don’t think anyone will ever be able to put into words. It was unbelievably powerful,” she said.

Charlie Kirk’s final book explores how observing the Sabbath, a day of rest practiced in several faiths, changed his life and family dynamic.

It outlines Kirk’s guidance on quieting the daily noise consuming American life by spending one day a week detached from work, society and social media, and being fully present with one’s family and loved ones.