So, Donald Trump is yet to take office and he’s already making an impact. And not just on China, Russia and Dr. Jill’s plans for installing bedside commodes at the White House. No, Trump is also decimating cable news. MSNBC ratings have plummeted since he won. It’s so bad that Joy Reid’s wigs are looking for work at “Jesse Watters Primetime.”
CNN’s numbers are so far down, they’re getting beaten nightly by Brit Hume’s doorbell cam. Hundreds of layoffs are apparently on the way. And I know that it’s mean, but it would be hilarious if CNN fires Brian Stelter a second time – and the poor guy just installed a shelf for his pies. It’s so bad for mainstream media that Chris Wallace has left CNN to start a podcast. He’s 77. Think about it. He’s leaving legacy media at age 77 because he’s certain that even he’s going to outlive it. But sadly, even Fox News is feeling the pinch, and it’s not our ratings. I got millions of new eyeballs, and that’s not including the ones I keep in a sack under my bed.
Donald Trump is taking all of our talent. He just announced that the great Tulsi Gabbard is his nominee for the director of national intelligence. Lee Zeldin may be the new head of the EPA, Mike Huckabee, the new ambassador to Israel – and boy does the Middle East need some Relaxium. Of course, Hegseth is the new secretary of defense, we hope. But as expected, as Trump loads up his cabinet with renegades and bad a–es, the left is melting down. They simply can’t believe Trump’s putting in place real people, the kind that are loyal to America and not the usual suspects you find on jets to Epstein Island. And sure, they’re triggered by Hegseth. Here’s why.
VIDEO OF PETE HEGSETH PLAYS ON ‘GUTFELD!’
That’s it. I’m gay, again. But here’s your expected hissy fit to Hegseth’s nomination.
FOX NEWS HOST PETE HEGSETH TO SERVE AS DEFENSE SECRETARY UNDER TRUMP
CNN’S ERIN BURNETT: Pete Hegseth for defense secretary. What do you think?
REP. DAN GOLDMAN: I’m shocked, truly. And this is exactly what we worried about and we warned about Donald Trump, which is that he is going to appoint unqualified loyalists to shape this government into his own personal fiefdom.
CNN’S ABBY PHILLIPS: The pick was a surprise on Capitol Hill where one senator literally said, wow.
MSNBC’S LAWRENCE O’DONNELL: In the pre-Trump world it would be impossible for a Pete Hegseth to get through the Senate confirmation process for any job in government. They will have no problem voting for any ridiculous, incompetent Trump appointee.
You know what’s really bothering these idiots? Well, first, Pete Hegseth is a man, obviously. Not so obvious? Biden’s choices. I mean, talk about transparency in government. When you see our men, they’re not hiding behind a skirt or stealing them. Pete was way ahead of everyone else on the decline of our fighting forces.
He was the first and most persuasive voice bent on preserving the lethality of our forces, which was under attack from within – thanks to the scourge of identity politics. Identity politics did three things to the military: it undermined meritocracy – the necessary ingredient for commanding a lethal force, it splintered the fighting forces into competing self-interests, and it put targets on troops who resisted, branding them as extremists who warranted investigation.
SERVICE MEMBERS SOUND ALARM AGAINST ‘EXTREMELY WOKE’ MILITARY
No wonder the media is using the appeal to authority fallacy to smear Hegseth. Who is this guy, they mutter. Well, he’s a two-time Bronze Star winner. I’ve got three. And he’s been in the service for decades. And he’s the guy who’s about to kick your a–es to the curb. But he’s not the only one who will force useless careerists to update their resumes. Trump just announced that Elon and Vivek will be heading a new commission known as the Department of Government Efficiency.
So that vast sucking sound you hear is the sound of the swamp finally being drained. It’s either that or I just ate Indian food. I apologize. So how bad will it be? Well, when Musk took over Twitter, he reportedly fired 80% of his personnel inside the first month. Which explains why on the way to work this morning, I saw Mayor Pete pumping gas at a Sunoco station. Now, if you think that firing 80% of the federal workforce is going too far, you might be right. It takes 15 workers each day just to fasten Jerry Nadler’s pants.
But America’s debt is $35 trillion. That’s a 35 with 12 zeros. That’s as many zeros as Kat’s dating history. We’ve got one shot here to save what has been the greatest experiment in government and human freedom of all time.
And I get the feeling we’re about to see more changes in a single administration than we’ve seen in Pelosi’s face. And this time, it’s going to be stuff that people actually want and need and actually voted for. No wonder it’s going to be carried out by people from a cable news network that people actually love.
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